R - We're Friend, sincerely.

R told me 'Saya minta maaf, saya dah kosong. Saya dah tak boleh teruskan'.

My reaction? Nothing.

Its almost 2 years we're trying hard to make this relationship work for us.
To make sure this 10 years relationship saved.
Keep denying some things can't be fixed.
We believe the love can conquer all.

I let him hold my hand and said..
"Nothing to forgive. Saya dah cakap, no more force no more try"
"I've been where you're standing now. I know the feeling well and I won't react how you did before"
I touched his face
"Maafkan salah silap saya, halalkan makan minum saya"
I leave the room.

I'm not sure what am I having now.
My feeling is in chaos.
I've moved on a long time ago.
I've accepted this condition a long time ago.
I've predicted this to happen.
But..
I hurt.
10 years.
There is a lot to let go.
I've become to dependent to this feeling.
I've getting used to being someone he loved.

So I'll let myself cry. Let myself feel suffocated. Let myself drown in this sadness.
To make sure I'll raise and step ahead without any burden anymore.

I'll not try to forget this or to forget you.
I'll learn from it.
You are one of the best thing happen in my life.
And you are one of the biggest lessons happen in my life.
No matter who you are to me.
There is still a place for you in my life.
Maybe not as a lover, but my friend for life.

You're always in my prayers.
May Allah granted you with happiness and calmness.
May Allah change our love to something more meaningful.
We've shared a lot.
Enemy is not a choice.
We're friend.
Sincerely.

New Start :)

Yes it is a new start for me.
I've deleted all my old posts as I deleted from me.

I'm not forgetting it.
I learn from it.

If it can't be mine.
At least it can be meaningful lessons to me.